Board index » kids » A pile of poo in his pants at all times

2005-10-04 11:10:57 PM
For about a year, my 7 year old son has been shitting himself. He'll
walk around with his pants full all day. He just will not go to the
toilet unless ordered to go. He denies knowledge of when he needs to go
and claims "it just comes out". He'll complain if we tell him to go and
sit on the toilet but when he does, he goes. He'll sit, watching
television or playing games and will just fill his pants.
I've tried taking his television and games off him to remove
distractions but it still happens. I'm beginning to wonder if there's
something wrong in his head. The doctors have all tried laxatives etc
on him but to no avail.
Has anybody else had a problem like this?
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" Purple Kangaroo" <none@none.com>wrote in message
- When did it start? Is this a very long standing leftover from potty
training?
- Have you considered the laxativ might be responsible for his feelings that
he cannot tell and it just comes out?
- Have you discussed with the docs the possibility that there is a physical
reason for this?
Let us know. Good luck.
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" Purple Kangaroo" <none@none.com>wrote in message
problem is real, and it is called "Encopresis". It has to do with him
witholding his bowel movements for some reason to the point that the feces
become impacted, then they leak out. Ultimately, we had to do a high fiber
diet, a series of enemas and a bit of therapy. The doctor told us that the
most important thing was not to punish her or tease her about it because
that would make her more stressed out.
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kids

On Tue, 04 Oct 2005 15:10:57 GMT, " Purple Kangaroo" <none@none.com>
wrote:
feel bad about it.
Sometimes when kids withhold, they lose the ability to feel their
body's signals to go.
Laxatives can be pretty harsh on a kid's body. I'd go for more fiber
in his diet to begin with. I don't know that I'd use an enema unless
he's stopped up pretty badly and in pain.
He needs to get cleaned out gently, and learn to read his body's
signals to go.
Keep encouraging him to use the toilet regularly, and talk to him
about what it feels like (the urge) before he goes. He needs to make
that connection.
Nan
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Stephanie wrote:
making him go then he doesn't poo his pants. The problem is we forget
to tell him to go. He gets a terrible diaper rash because he won't just
poo his pants but he'll carry it around all day, knowing his pants are
full. The doctor thinks it's because his stools are hard and because it
hurts when he goes, he puts it off. The doctor gave him stool softeners
and laxitives.
We have told him he must go, 10 minutes after a meal but he fights us
terribly. He doesn't really seem to care. He seems to be blind to
hygeine. Several times he's left shit on the toilet seat, smeared shit
on the walls and I don't think he washes his hands at all well - we
have to make him scrub his hands because we can see the shit under his
nails.
We put a mirror on the wall in the bathroom so he can check his
backside but he still doesn't seem to make a good job of cleaning up -
on those occasions he attempts to do so.
We have a sign in the toilet that says "now flush and wash hands - with
soap" and he never flushes. He doesn't seem to care that his bedroom
(he has a toilet of his own, in a closet in his room) stinks when he
doesn't flush.
It seems almost deliberate. We've tried encouragement. We've tried
punishment. We've tried support. We've taken him to doctors. Nothing
seems to work. He has everything a boy his age could ever dream of
having to the point of being spoilt and cosseted.
We've even made his wash out his nasty pants - nothing has any effect.
I'm beginning to believe he's retarded.
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Nan wrote:
school. We have a lot of difficulty in getting him to eat anything that
isn't cereal, meat or cheese. He will just sit and whine if we try to
make him eat vegetables and fruit. he'll whine, pick at it and throw a
fit. It makes meal times into a real trial for busy parents. I'm busy
most of the day with housework and a part-time job and my husband is
busy all day at work and is tired when he comes home. We just don't
have the energy needed to force him to do everything. That's what it
seems to take - commanding and shouting are the only things he'll obey.
Ask him nicely or tell him to do something and he'll just ignore us.
He cares nothing for anything he posesses. He loses shoes and other
things and says casually "it's lost" as though it was nothing. He loses
money, toys and then expects us to replace them. We're trying to get
him to take responsibility but he won't even acknolege that when he oes
wrong that t's wrong.
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In article <NcB0f.80960$SL.2143701@twister.southeast.rr.com>,
" Purple Kangaroo" <none@none.com>wrote:
just Not OK!
However, you don't have to give him what he WANTS to eat, either. Put
a meal in front of him, and he either eats it or goes hungry. He
doesn't get more of the stuff he wants unless he eats some of the stuff
that's good for him.
If he's not getting enough fiber for there to be a health issue, you do
need to set some parameters -- not forcing him to eat, but only making
things available that will be good for him.
Frankly, if commanding and shouting are the ways you are getting
compliance, you have bigger issues in your house. I'd recommend seeing
a family therapist, to see how to move to better communications styles,
before he's much older. If this is how it is when he's seven, I don't
even want to THINK about what your house will be like when he's 13!
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care
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Hi --
Based on what you've said about your son's behavior, it sounds to me as
though you should make way to a child psychiatrist on the double. Do
take the time to find a good one! A good one will talk to the whole
family and will help you with parenting issues as well as child
behavioral issues.
Good luck,
--Beth Kevles
bethkevles@aol.com
web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.
NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.
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On Tue, 04 Oct 2005 19:45:20 GMT, " Purple Kangaroo" <none@none.com>
wrote:
Nan
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Nan wrote:
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"Nan" <nobodys@home.com>wrote in message
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"Catherine Woodgold" <an588@FreeNet.Carleton.CA>wrote in message
it to my daughter when she was having this problem. Sometimes we mixed it
with milk or juice, other times with pudding, yogurt, etc.
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On Wed, 05 Oct 2005 00:39:30 GMT, "dejablues" <deja.blues@gmail.com>
wrote:
Gee, a parent says their kid might be "retarded" because they have
bowel trouble and I'm the troublemaker! Hmpf
Nan
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On Wed, 05 Oct 2005 00:35:03 GMT, " Purple Kangaroo" <none@none.com>
wrote:
Nan
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"Nan" <nobodys@home.com>wrote in message
JennP.
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In article <6hF0f.274$7P5.131@trndny07>, dejablues says...
population?
Banty
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In article <ns96k15vqt1fgj7pkjeqv447t9ekto5jlh@4ax.com>, Nan says...
Banty
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" Purple Kangaroo" <none@none.com>wrote in message
I hope you will forgive me if I am off base. And I hope you can take this in
the spirit it is offered, or leave it alone. I hope not to be hurtful. It is
likely to get long.
It sounds like he is spoiled. Spoiled is not a condition that a child is
born into, it is a condition that is created by a parenting approach,
specifically non-parenting. Shouting and bullying are the tools of the out
of control parent with no other useful tools in their toolbox. One of the
big problems with yelling is that eventually he will get numb to it, and the
only recourse down this path is to escalate the tenor, either the yelling or
progressing to spanking. Down this road leads an unhappy family life for all
of you as you attempt to get compliance through escalating degrees of heavy
handed tactivs.
The bowel issue sounds like a genuine physical issue compounded by a family
life that does not easily facilitate solutions. Punishment for a bowel
control issue is a bad idea, likely only to yield resentment and push back.
You need to rethink your priorities IMO. If you are too busy and tired from
housework to parent your child, then you need to readress the relative
importance of a clean house, for now. You need a new parenting model. The
short term effort to achieve a new parenting model is quite difficult. But
the long term gains are very much worth it. The parenting model I would
recommend is one focused more on teaching and less on compliance.
It's a tough thing to change. The idea goes something like seeking to
achieve a sense of teamwork and working together within the family through
meeting his needs and providing positive discipline through effective limit
setting (recommend "Setting Limits" a book with a longer title, but if you
search that in Amazon, it'll come up). Meeting his needs includes physical,
for example by providing nutricous meals and snacks. And providing positive
discipline through effective limit setting would include seeing the
provision of the meals and snacks as your responsibility, and the consuming
of (or not) as his. Just an example. I would recommend some reading, like
the aforementioned book, as well as How to Talk So You Kids Will Listen, and
Listen So Your Kids Will Talk. Also, a family therapist might help chart the
course.
While the changing of the family dynamic will be challenging, and you will
get kick back from your son, since change is bad, it can reap some good
rewards in terms of more harmonious family life, more tools to handle
challenging situations like bowel issues to chores. As his self esteem
improves with a feeling that he CAN do things, that he CAN live within the
family in a way that makes Mom and Dad happy, he will feel the benefit of
this too and be more inclined to want to. Of course, there will always be
limit testing. That's how they reasasess where the limits lie.
Anyway, I wish you luck.
Stephanie
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Stephanie wrote:
several toys every time they see him.
I try not to yell but sometimes when he repeatedly and insistantly
refuses to do his homework and refuses to do small tasks such as
picking up pinecones, I do. I'm normally calm and placid but whining
and shouting at me do make me shout occasionally.
time to go to the toilet except to urinate. He's too busy playing. He
seems to lose important things like toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap,
spectacles etc almost every week. He's on his 3rd pair of new
spectacles in 3 months and they are expensive. I suspect the bowel
problem is born from his unwillingness to interrupt what he is
doing,compounded by his incapability to clean himself properly and
unwillingness to let anybody help hence his frequent nappy rash and the
fact he won't go to the toilet to clean up after he's had an accident.
He'll just walk around all day with his pants full unless I make him go
to the toilet.
hiss homework for a week and we had a letter from his teacher. He kept
telling us he had no homework and had no homework in his homework book
in his bag. It turned out he lied and kept lying so we took away his TV
and computer. He started doing his homework then. Personally I don't
think he should have a computer or TV in his bedroom but my husband
gaave them to him.
the number of toys he has as he seems overwhealmed by them. Once that's
done, his room should be much tidier. Once that happens, I suspect he
might take more pride in himself and hence his bowels and be more
responsible with the things he has. Those with too much care little
about anything. Those with little value what they have.
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" Purple Kangaroo" <none@none.com>wrote in message
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If it was simply because he is lazy, he wouldnt break to urinate either.
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