Board index » kids » OT - funeral attire question

2005-06-28 02:14:30 AM
I'm going to run these ideas past you guys, since I already assured my
mom that I would know how to dress appropriately for my grandmother's
funeral tomorrow - and then realized that I'm not sure I actually own
anything that I consider appropriate for the situation. :( For
background, my grandmother was a great believer in dressing for
occassions, so I really want to do this right. Also, I will be a
pallbearer, so especially on display.
Ideally, I would think, I would wear a black suit. However, the only
black suit I own is a heavy wool flannel, and it is probably going to
be in the 90's tomorrow. So, that's out. I have a black linen jacket,
but it doesn't go with any of my black skirts or slacks, since it's
somewhat old and faded and all of my black bottom pieces are very
black. I have a long black jersey skirt, and also a dressy pair of
rayon trousers, relatively loose and pleated.
My current thought is a short brown linen jacket over the long black
skirt, with either a black or white knit top. Dh will be wearing a
grey suit, fwiw.
TIA,
Irene
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"Irene" <irene_dsc@my-deja.com>wrote in message
trousers might be more appropriate for what you will be doing than a skirt.
(If you're not likely to be tripped up by a skirt, though, then either is
fine.) with the black or white top would be an excellent, appropriate
choice. I don't see that the jacket would be necessary, from what you are
describing, and considering the heat, and that you are pallbearing, might
get in the way, be miserably warm, and might wrinkle uncontrollably. But
if you feel the jacket completes the look, it's certainly very appropriate
as well.
I think you've made good choices.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Donna
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On 27 Jun 2005 11:14:30 -0700, "Irene" <irene_dsc@my-deja.com>wrote:
I would probably opt for the white.
I don't really own any black dress clothes, but I have understated,
muted colors that I can go with.
Nan
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kids

Irene wrote:
family is. What you describe would certainly fly as an attendee
at the vast majority of funerals. You needn't wear unrelieved
black or anything like that. If you family is very formal
and conservative (i.e., your mom is showing up in black crepe
with a veil ;-) then it might not pass muster as a pallbearer.
I think you're pretty safe, though.
Please accept my condolences on your loss.
Best wishes,
Ericka
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Thanks, all. I ended up wearing the black jacket & black skirt with a
brown shell, since when I tried everything on, it looked the best. I
was glad I did - all of the women in my immediate family wore all
black, and all but one wore a jacket. My mom didn't comment on the one
in the Little Black Dress, but I'm guessing she did not approve. ;-)
The other attendees wore a wider range of clothing, as I expected.
Irene
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"Irene" <irene_dsc@my-deja.com>wrote in message
dress, though -- that would have been my automatic default for a family
funeral. Any idea why your mom disapproved? Did it have a plunging
neckline or something?
Donna
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In article <0yuwe.7534$GP6.2448@trndny03>, Donna says...
Banty
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On Wed, 29 Jun 2005 10:16:28 GMT, "Donna"
<youdontknowmenopam@spamproof.com>wrote:
wouldn't have been suitable for a funeral.
I don't think it's necessary to have high collars and to cover all of
one's skin to be appropriate, but a lot of LBD's are more suited for
NY eve parties than for funerals.
Nan
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In article <c0k5c1tng5114ohg1talkc9lvq0u93krrs@4ax.com>, Nan says...
Depending on the particulars.
Banty
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Banty <Banty_member@newsguy.com>wrote:
shift with short sleeves and a rounded neck in black cotton knit from
J. Jill. I usually wear a belt with it.
When I was 16 and my grandmother died, I had only one black dress, and
it was plain except for a pink ribbon around the neckline, and was
lower in the back, but I could still wear a bra with it so it wasn't
THAT low. I covered the pink ribbon with black.
grandma Rosalie
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On 29 Jun 2005 10:01:42 -0700, Banty <Banty_member@newsguy.com>wrote:
Nan
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Banty wrote:
basically, I wouldn't consider anything sleeveless to be really
appropriate for a funeral (or religious services). With a jacket, it
would be fine. My mom's comment to my sister (when checking to see
what she was planning to wear) was along the lines that evening clothes
weren't appropriate for a funeral. And since my late grandmother was
very much of the Old School, I tended to err on the conservative
side...
Though at my uncle's house later that evening for shiva, I did take off
my jacket, and had a sleeveless shell underneath. I also put dd (14
months) in a sundress - I figured that was a lower level of
expectation. (The kids didn't go to the funeral, but they did go to
sit shiva.) Plus, it was HOT!
Irene
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